


Cin

by ZNEW (newnikki88)



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types
Genre: D&D, Eladrin (Dungeons & Dragons), Elf Sex, F/M, Fae & Fairies, Shadar-Kai, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newnikki88/pseuds/ZNEW
Relationships: trans - Relationship
Kudos: 2





	Cin

The bright sun of the Feywilds pierces the canopy of leaves that arch over Titania’s banquet hall. Wisps of light, leaves, and flowers catch my eye as they sparkle and fall to the gala taking place below. A voice I’m familiar with pulls me out of my trance.

“Cin! Stop staring and get these drinks to our guests,” matron Anzora says, hefting several wine flutes onto the tray I’m carrying.

Smiling, I bow very slightly and resume my shuffling in and out to the Winter Court envoys on the dance floor. A mix of elves, eladrin, shadar-kai, and even more unspeakable creatures, the envoys of the Winter Court had come yesterday for the solstice as a symbol of peace. Today is a time of celebration before the world grows dark once again.

I walk through the guests, my heart quickening when I see a pair of shadar-kai watching me. One of them is handsome, his face made of nearly perfect angles and carved as if from grey marble. He watches me with an incalculable expression. The woman by his side has tattoos over her entire face and scowls darkly at me before an eladrin with pink flowers in her hair comes up to grab her, pulling her onto the dance floor.

Realizing I’m staring again, I walk up to the man and offer him a drink. It’s only now a smile cracks on that perfectly chiseled face. “Thank you, my dear,” he says softly, yet easily heard over the music. I notice his perfectly combed black hair and his equally black eyes staring at me before I manage to respond.

“You’re welcome.” That’s it? I think to myself. The shadar-kai are intimidating, elves of darkness I’ve been told, at least ever since I was taken to the Feywilds. I begin to walk away when he places a hand on my shoulder, and my heart leaps out of my chest.

“Please stay a moment.” He gestures to a high table next to him. “Rest your drinks here. You look tired.”

“I’ll get in trouble,” I respond quietly, looking away. I know the matron will be angry if I slack off.

“You’re worried, but please, I have questions. Think of it as part of your hospitality.”

I nod. The rules of hospitality are of utmost most importance here. I gently place the tray down then curtsy, my long, red and gold dress lifting off the floor. “What may I help you with, sir?” I will my heart to slow down. His dark eyes stare intently.

“I smell human on you, yet you have the air of the Summer Court. Something is off with you.” His face is serious, intense, and I begin to panic.

“Nothing so sinister, sir.” I glance at the matron; she’s watching me now but doesn’t approach. Perhaps this Shadar-kai is more than he appears.

“Sinister is what we winter are.” He gives a wide grin, showing perfect, white rows of teeth. “Those of summer and springtime, like you, are not quite as foul.”

I nod. “Yes sir, I was taken here as a child. I-I asked for this form long ago. I don’t remember much else.”

“Oh? What were you? A human girl snatched and replaced with a doll? Changed for a poor imitation? Now that is something I’m more familiar with.”

“A human boy, sir,” I say, shifting my gaze away. Just saying the words are like gravel on my tongue. “Her spell became permanent long ago. It was my one request when she took me.”

He does the one thing I don’t expect: he laughs. “Not so foul at all. Quite a good fit for the court of spring, summer, and delights that Titania is so fond of.” His smile widens further and he brushes my cheek before lightly touching my silver-blonde hair. “And of beauty.”

“Ours is not the only realm of beauty, sir,” I blurt without thinking and realize too late. My face reddens and my already pounding heart does another somersault. “Please, I should go.” I pull away and walk as fast as I can, but I feel him watching as I leave the hall. I need to breathe. His presence follows inside my head and I see his dark eyes, terrifying yet kind.

Why would I tell him something like that? I pound my fist against the oak wall as I focus my breathing. I need to return to continue serving guests, just...not him. I want to. I shake my head. He was only interested in my smell. The smell of humans that I can never quite wash off, no matter how permanent the polymorph is.

Eventually, I gather myself and return to the hall. The orchestral chords and flutes of the fawns and elves reach my ears first, and when I enter, I smell the roses and fragrance of the party. The man is nowhere to be seen. Disappointment and relief are hard feelings to parse as I pick up the drinks to begin serving again.

My friend Illiana brushes past me, whispering, “Why were you talking to Prince Lucian?”

“What? That’s who he was?”

“Yes! How could you not--okay, he gave me this note.” She passes me a folded piece of paper that I tuck into my dress. “Be careful, okay?”

I nod. “Thanks, Illiana.” She smiles back, her wood elven freckles lighting up her red hair as she gives me a knowing look, and we wander off to continue our duties.

It’s not until late into the night when there’s even enough time to check the note.

Meet me under the whispering willow by the lake at the witching hour.

This reeks of bad choices. Meet a strange man, let alone the prince of the Winter Court, alone? I’ve made foolish choices before, but this would take the cake. Even so... I stare at the paper. I remember those eyes that laughed. I’m not afraid, at least not as much as I should be. I feel the wind and look at the sky—almost time. I could go now. The guests have all but left. I’d get a scolding for not helping clean, but that’s it.

Taking precautions, I wait until I get Illiana’s attention and tuck the note into an empty champagne flute before I sneak away. If I go missing, at least someone will know—my heart races.

The wind outside the hall has grown cold. The seasons have changed; now winter will have dominance. My light dress rustles in the breeze, but thankfully the weather has never affected me much in the past. Weaving in and out of the trees between the buildings built into the current palace complex, I find the lake. A vast expanse of water in the middle of the forest, a single oak rests on a small island connected to the shore by a simple wooden bridge. Tonight it’s lit by candles, not that my eladrin eyes need them. The light of a full moon is reflected in the lake, illuminating the scene from behind as the prince stands watching the still waters.

When I approach, he doesn’t turn around but says softly, “You know who I am, I take it?”

“Yes sir,” I whisper. I’m afraid--no, that’s not true. I should be frightened, but I’m not. Not at all.

He turns to study me, his eyes now kind as they stare down. How could a man like this be the son of the Queen of Air and Darkness?

“Why, then, did you come? I am dangerous; my mother even more. I’m betrothed after all. What would she think?” The last bit sounds more like a question for himself than me, and I try to look away, but the dark wells of his eyes catch and hold me still.

“I-I don’t know.”

His lips part into a deeper grin than I’ve seen before. “I know,” he says, leaning down to kiss me. He holds his face nearly a centimeter away and I respond, pressing my lips against his. Strong arms envelop and lift me. I feel him around me as I sink deeper into the embrace. The world around me fades to nothing.

I know not how long we remain like that, but the next thing I know we’re entwined in the roots beneath the tree. Water laps next to us, our clothes nowhere to be found, and I’m on top of him. I moan as he enters me, my ashen eyes closing as I push him deeper. We move, shift, and find pleasure in each other’s embrace until the night passes like a dream.

It’s now some time later. Months have passed, and I’m showing. I tell Illiana first. She suggests we fix the problem; time can only tell what Mab would do to an illegitimate heir. I refuse. I know the matron will be furious and I might be expelled from the court, but since that night, since he left... I can’t get his face out of my head. He’s sent me letters and messages in secret. I should live in fear for my life, but it’s like a dream.

I can’t hide it anymore. The matron finds out. I lie badly. She takes me to Titania, and the red heat of her anger feels like it will swallow me whole. I’m glad it’s only spring.

Strangely, she has compassion...at least, that’s what she says. My child will be stillborn, she predicts. If not, it will be her pawn. I know this, but I want it. I want them to have a life.

When the leaves begin to fall, it’s time. The matron and Illiana are with me. The matron lets me hold him. “Estel,” I name him. Hope. He’s taken from me, and Titania curses me never to bear again. This is my punishment. The letters have stopped coming.

No longer do I serve in court. Instead, I escort Titania’s envoys on errands that take me far from the Feywilds. I try to find out what’s happened to my son but know not. I hope, someday, I will see him again. I will find him.


End file.
